
No matter what the thing is, if it’s sexual, there will almost certainly be someone in the world weirded out enough to get judgmental about it. There’s your ideal dating pool-women who already smoke enough to list it in their dating profiles.Īs for telling sexual partners, I can’t guarantee they won’t think it’s weird. I think it would be morally dodgy to ask a nonsmoker to begin smoking for your pleasure, given the dangers, so start on a dating site that allows you to filter by different criteria, including smoking status. But I’m confident that you’ll be able to find at least one woman happy to smoke for you in a sexual context. I’m sure you know cigarettes are quite unhealthy, so you want to have other options if at all possible. If you have other sources of arousal, I’d suggest you continue to engage and nurture them. No matter what the thing is, if it’s sexual, it’s almost certain someone in the world will be weirded out enough to get judgmental about it. If you do decide to pursue that, make sure everyone involved is having emotionally honest communication with each other. And to specifically address your husband’s friend’s wife, that does seem potentially sticky. Remember that you’re looking for something fairly specific, and that means it might take some time before you find someone whose interests match up with what you have to offer. Be alert for indications that they haven’t heard or have forgotten your boundaries, such as discussions of a future you don’t want or that disregards your relationship with your husband. Ask your potential partners what they’re after, and ask them to use specific hypothetical examples. Figure out what, for you, demarcates the line of romantic relationship: Define what you do and don’t want, and communicate that as thoroughly as possible. Casual friendship with sex is, in my experience, one of the hardest things to maintain without slipping into an emotionally serious relationship. The tricky part is going to be getting people to hear your boundaries and internalize them. The male psyche is a little ridiculous, I realize. At the same time, I really want to shed my insecurity about her getting freaky on the low with our old friend but not me. Simply put, I’m not going to do something she says she doesn’t want. She claims it’s a hygiene issue, but I feel like that is easy enough to solve. She seems to enjoy porn that contains it, and she’s had it and liked it before, but doesn’t want it from me. I’m quite happy with our sex life, except that one thing. She is not the most (or least) sexually adventurous person nor am I.

I’m very attracted to my wife I couldn’t feel like a luckier guy.


The biggest of these details is that she told me he performed a particular act for her, one that she enjoyed-an act she won’t let me perform on her. While we have come a long way, it’s taken me a long time to get over this because of certain details. This took place about a year before we were engaged, so a long time ago.

But There’s a Catch.Ī couple years ago-about 10 years into our marriage and amid our trying to fix some desire discrepancy issues-my wife confessed that she cheated on me with a good friend of ours, someone who was in our wedding party and has since made moves on her. I Found the People Who Share My Sexual Fantasy.
